British house prices to rise by 22% according to Mr. Mime

September 9th, 2016 | Crazy Pokemon

UK property prices are set to rise by an average of 22%, according to Mr. Mime. However, there is wide variation in the rate of increase. Properties providing direct access to pokestops and battle gyms, straight from the living room, are rising in price by as much as 475%.

Jynx “Rather than repeat the mistakes of the past and prop up the housing market with tedious, complex initiatives such as buy-to-let mortgages and help-to-buy schemes, we can take advantage of innovative technologies such as augmented reality and mobile apps to make ridiculous house prices look attractive.” – says Jynx as she returns from her holiday in Swiss Alps.

“This is a welcome turn of events,” says Mankey, after his second holiday last month in Cornwall. “It would be upsetting to see the house prices going down. The landlords would suffer an economic shock, and possibly a sleepless night. They would not know what the future looks like.”

For the first time in British history the number of bedrooms as a major factor in determining the value of the property is no longer relevant or important. Since mid-July 2016, people are not interested in the number of bedrooms, close transport links or garden space. What drives the property prices up today is the proximity to pokestops, pokemon nests and battle gyms.

Catchment area remains to be an important consideration for people who are looking for their dream home. Pre-millenials might remember moving houses and paying hundreds of thousands of pounds more, just to be near a so-called well-performing school. Ironically, the catchment areas didn’t actually provide anything to catch! All this changed last summer when pokestops gave a new meaning to the term. Today, an average house near one of the best-performing pokestops in England costs £766,744, compared to a national average of £313,318.

“You get what you pay for”, – says Sparky Jolteon. “If you live further away from a pokestop, you fall victim to the PokemonGo marketing ploy – walk and exercise – which can be tiring and impractical after a long day at work. Catching pokemons from the comfort of your own home is worth its weight in gold!”

A new property website Pokemove is embracing the change in customer expectations and provides property listings that focus on what really matters in today’s property market. Look at this gorgeous property, featuring direct access to a pokestop, numerous water pokemons within easy walking distance and sightings of Ponyta just round the corner, all for just £950,000!

Pokemon in the house. House prices.

mrmime Mr. Mime is an expert in making house prices look reasonable, and at all things that may at first seem unseeable. He reports on perfectly solvable world problems, pokemon rights issues, and all things free range.